Taking a page from regresty:
Happy Whimsicle Fuckery everyone.
See? Perfect. It offends everyone equally. Some aliens could land on the planet and I’d tell them Happy Whimsicle Fuckery and they’d be pissed.
Whimsicle is spelled wrong to piss off anyone who uses English. And since I don’t know when everyone’s major important holiday is, I’d just wish Whimsicle Fuckery on everyone I met, all the time.
It’s pretty long, so you could shorten it to Fuckery. Or just Fuck You. F U. Drop the Whimsicle all together. I think most of the world celebrates this merry event already.
(Genius submission.)
